Children Speak Out
- · Don’t put me in the middle. If you need to talk to each other, please do it yourself, I am not your messenger.
- · Don’t make me take sides. You may not have a husband/wife anymore, but I still have a mom and dad and I love and need both of you.
- · Please don’t say bad things about my other parent. It makes me feel really bad. Whenever possible, tell me something positive about my other parent.
- · Allow me to have access to both parents. Take that into account when you are deciding where to live.
- · The better you get along with each other, the better I will be able to cope with the divorce.
- · Ask me how I am doing and what kind of help I may need, I am also going through my own loss. I might show my grief in many different ways, including anger, depression, anxiety, or acting-out behavior. Please get me help if I am having difficulty.
- · Try to keep everything else in my life the same, as it is stressful enough to lose a parent to divorce, but even tougher to move to a different school, a new neighborhood, and a new home.
- · Continue to treat me as your child. My role is not to replace your spouse or be a friend. Let me be a kid. AND if you need to talk to somebody about what you are going through, find a friend or a therapist. It is too much for me.
- · I long for continuity, routine, and tradition. Although our family has changed, try to keep as many traditions and routines the same as possible.
- · I know you are probably doing the best you can. So am I.
- · Please don’t make me feel I am being disloyal because I enjoy being with my other parent, and don’t interrogate me when I come back. I will share whatever I want whenever I feel I need to share it.